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Java Christmas Cracker Jokes

A programmer had a problem.

He decided to use Java.

He now has a ProblemFactory.


A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says

“Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant warning on the box?!”

“That’s OK,” says the guy, puffing casually “I’m a Java Developer”

“So? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“We don’t care about warnings. We only care about errors.”



A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes on the car go out and they fly careening down the mountain. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch. Everyone gets out of the car to assess the damage.

The manager says, "Let's form a group to collaborate ideas on how we can solve this issue."

The mechanical engineer suggests, "We should disassemble the car and analyze each part for failure."

The software analyst says, "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.

why does a java developer wear glasses?  Because they can’t C#

Do you know any funny java/programming jokes?



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